Adventures in Solo Travel

March 19, 2023

~ How did I start traveling alone, and how does one visit new cities or countries all on their own? ~

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(Visiting local temples in Qingdao, China on the regular, 2018-2019)

Have you ever felt that there was a specific city or destination that weighed on your heart? Were you called to go, no matter what? Perhaps you'd planned to travel with friends, family, or a partner but they pulled out at the last minute. Maybe no one you know is interested! What to do? You could call it all off, or forget about even planning for such a trip. But there's another way--you can travel solo!

It's not easy, I will tell you that. Especially the first time, there are going to be big nerves and possibly many doubts. But, I can also tell you that, from the other side, you are going to be glad you did it. There are three major lessons I have gained from traveling solo. In detailing several adventures of my own, I will share these.

(Trip to Apostle Islands, WI, USA in 2015)

1) You're never actually alone.

This is going to sound like a bit of a cheat. But for me, whether it was backpacking solo through southeast Asia and living in hostels or a solo birthday trip to Lisboa, Portugal, I was never truly alone. I may have ventured out alone on these adventures, not knowing anyone else. But that full-on solitude didn't last for long.

In 2015, before I had yet left the United States, I felt drawn to explore more nature spots in my own country. My university had an outdoor venture center (OVC) which took groups of students and community members on road trips to nearby states for some regional adventure and sports tourism. I had originally hoped to go with friends but by the time the trip came around, it was just me. I remember feeling uncomfortable, a bit nervous, and wanting to refund the trip. Instead, I decided to go. It was a 10-day trip kayaking around the Apostle Islands, a group of twenty-two islands in Lake Superior, off of Bayfield, Wisconsin. I liked kayaking, but I was by no means an athlete. It was a big leap of faith for me, both physically and socially!

I cannot emphasize how much of a monumental trip that was for me. Not only did I feel empowered from kayaking many miles everyday and backpacking/camping full-time (it was energizing and felt like a truly physical accomplishment!), but the beautiful crystal clear, icy cold water under a relentless summer sun combined with the fresh pines, scattered lighthouses, and nighttime starry skies blew my mind! I also found the best crew of friendly, inclusive, adventuring souls all willing to unite together, friends and strangers alike, while enjoying what felt like our own little piece of wilderness. With all my travels, that trip still remains a shining memory and one of my biggest adventures. That experience led to many more over the next couple of years--I traveled with the OVC to Wisconsin, Colorado, Iowa, South Dakota, Oklahoma, Minnesota, and Arkansas to do rock climbing, whitewater rafting, backpacking, hiking, and old fashioned camping. Not only did I experience breathtaking nature but I met an abundance of kindred spirits, and my fear of going somewhere without knowing someone was greatly diminished, through practice! This would serve me well in future endeavors.

(Journaling with the beloved Vietnamese cà phê cốt dừa, an iced coconut coffee drink, & my preferred activity of choice as a tourist ;) )

2) You get to do what YOU want.

This may seem a bit obvious, but it should not be overlooked. Traveling is an opportunity to visit a place you've never been to before, or maybe return to an old favorite, and interact with locals, try different foods, experience a different culture, and build beautiful and fun memories along the way! That is all good and well, but we must factor in that different people have different interests, values, priorities, and self-informed limitations. In the tourism field, we refer to these as tourist motivations, or what is guiding these travel decisions and behaviors. While I may be dead-set on visiting Vietnam to enjoy a variety of iced coffees and sumptuous cuisine, my travel partner may be on the look-out for special cultural or natural sites. We only have a week. Additionally, I am obsessed with Ho Chi Minh City and could care less about anywhere else. Meanwhile, my partner insists we visit Hanoi (or was it Hoi An?) and Hạ Long Bay. If you take a second to check that on Google Maps, you'll soon realize our predicament.

The best part about solo travel, in my opinion, is that it is your chance to shine. Do you want to be up at dawn and following every tourist bucket list spot like a pro? Go for it! Would you rather take a lie-in and slowly start your day with a late morning walk, Vietnamese style iced coffee, and the plan to pass through a museum in the afternoon? Do it! But wait--someone approaches with an offer for a reasonably priced boat trip to the bay and you had planned on checking that out at the end of the week. Fine! No worries! It's only you to deal with the consequences, good or bad. Or, more accurately, you'll choose to flow through the ups and downs, recognizing that it all can be seen for what it is--an adventure, and one that's all your own!

(2019 Lunar New Year Solo Travels, Seoul, South Korea;

Chillin' with King Sejong, the Korean king of yore who hired a bunch of scholars to formulate the beautiful, unified Hangeul alphabet system which is used today! Also: the filming site of many a Kdrama I have loved!)

3. It's the personal growth, for me.

I always come back to this, personal growth. There is an exacting tax that solo travel asks of those who partake: it's a chance to look harder at yourself and right where you are, and then, often with mild to moderate discomfort, to eventually relax into the big, wide world all while feeling a little bit more at home in yourself. I have never found solo travel to be entirely easy. Yes, there are times that it is easier. And the more you do it, it isn't quite as terrifying. But the factors involved--going somewhere unknown without the comfort blanket of others to co-conspire with or lean on, naturally makes for a reactive recipe. Suddenly, you and you alone are responsible for you. Without notice, you are now in charge of your direction, goals, and plans. Accommodation, transportation, local currency, local languages, tourist sites, daily menu, and more are now squarely on your shoulders! Now, you can plan all you want. But I can guarantee that things will go awry. Not to fret! The best thing I've learned is to take it one step at a time. If you need more structure, go that route; over-prepare and you'll figure out the hiccups along the way. Once you're more used to it, you may even relax into the rhythms of uncertainty and let the current take you where it will! Some of the most surprising and worthwhile experiences can find you that way. Cue the following story...

In the spring of 2019, I found myself having checked out of my accommodation in Shenzhen, China (not my hometown, I was living way up north in Qingdao) at the airport with a delayed e-visa for my trip to Vietnam. I found myself denied boarding with tears brimming. I was in a city all alone, thinking I had already checked out and was on my way to a new country for my holidays! Fortunately, I was still in China and could use my WeChat app to pay for a Starbucks and rethink my strategy. I ordered a drink and something to eat, sat down, and took several deep breaths. It's not the end of the world, Amber. This will work out, it will be okay. At least I can still buy 星巴克 (xīngbākè--Starbucks; are you starting to see the pattern of iced coffee as as source of joy and comfort in my life?) and didn't leave the country yet. I found the address for a decently priced and reviewed hostel, walked over to the taxi station, and was soon on my way! Gazing out the window, taking in the scenery I had recently absorbed but in reverse, I allowed myself to enjoy the beauty and sunshine that this city had, even in the middle of January! When I got to the hostel, I went up to the counter and explained my situation, proceeded to book 3 nights, and parked myself at the communal area with my laptop. I sat there for 4 hours--puzzling my way through my predicament. You see, I had JUST booked two weeks of accommodation and flights for Vietnam. And not only that, but I had only booked it 2 days prior, meaning, before that I could have been way more flexible. The truth was, I couldn't control Vietnam's visa delivery. I had applied in time, but it was delayed. It could come this week or not at all! If I had to cancel my bookings, I'd lose a lot of money, which would affect the rest of my trip. I felt desperate. I tried to consider other countries, or working my way backwards. But to be honest, I still hadn't solved it. It was then, in the late afternoon sun that had began to sink closer toward the horizon, that a hopeless refresh on my email revealed a miracle--my e-visa was approved!

(Yes, folks, that is one of those gleaming strawberries savored in a small urban nature park in Shenzhen, China, 2019)

Only 4 hours after I had needed it, my goodness. But it was there! I would still lose out on the cost of the flight and need another, and I had spent extra on this hostel. No matter! I was going to make it! I rebooked a new flight that shared the exact itinerary, talk about‎ déjà vu, but for the next day. I almost cried in relief. In fact, I think I went to a nearby café and watched a movie over dinner doing just that, albeit under the guise of an emotional film. (I learned during my year in China that a good public cry never hurt anybody. ;) And honestly, I still stand by that. So cathartic! But also, if you need help, definitely reach out to get support. :) )

And the next morning! The next morning it was as if the entire world has been washed away and was beginning anew. I had found my way back to the same café, unbothered by a need to explore beyond the familiar after such chaotic happenings. On my way there, I saw a woman selling fresh strawberries on the street. I stopped, greeted her in Mandarin, and bought a gleaming pile of them. With my iced coffee and pastry from the café, I wandered over to a nearby public garden in the midst of these residential complexes. I smiled, sitting on a bench, watching the way life carries on in its peaceful and lively way in city parks in China. Families, grannies and grandpas, young people, all minding their own business but bringing a cheerful energy that threaded throughout the urban ecosystem. I remember sighing, feeling such joy and gratitude. For circumstances changing in my favor, for the resilience and flexibility I had shown the past 24 hours, for the gift to be living and loving and exploring this part of the world? All of those things were true. But in that moment, I was just happy to be. Happy in that park with sunshine, strawberries, iced coffee, and a little bit of peace. I'll tell you what, that roller coaster of emotions, stress, and the high probability of my plans falling to pieces was a lot. But getting through it gave me a renewed sense of trust. Trust in myself. That I could handle the ups and downs thrown my way. And that maybe I could go with the flow a little more. That was the beginning, only the start of my month of solo travels in southern China, Vietnam, Malaysia, and South Korea. I think I was able to embrace that adventure with more ease, grit, and gratitude because of this mess. And after it? I grew even more. And it paved the way for more solo adventures to come!

(Later on in 2019 during those Lunar Holidays;

Reuniting with a good friend from Qingdao times who was also solo traveling through SE Asia during Tết celebrations (Vietnam's Lunar New Year) with lots of flowers and plenty of my birth year's zodiac sign, the pig!)

These are my experiences. If you can take these hard-gained wisdoms and apply them to your own travel dreams, it might make it a little smoother! If you remember that you are never truly alone, and that you will meet wonderful souls along the way. If you can truly grasp onto the knowledge that what you want and need is valuable and that your dreams are worthwhile, and that you deserve to try an adventure that gives you a chance to explore those avenues. If you can remember that despite the challenges, the personal growth gained will bring you so much more than you imagined. If you can embrace these 3 lessons, I think you are a whole lost closer and a little bit more equipped to tackle your own solo adventure!

Thanks for following along & I look forward to sharing more travel tips and stories soon! Happy solo travels!

(Side Note: Don't get me wrong, travel with loved ones can be equally fulfilling and fun! I will probably write about that way of traveling later. I'll also crack into my experiences of slow travel. Personally, I feel a mix of these travel styles in your life is the best recipe, but we all have our own happy barometer to align with. Follow your heart. <3)

~Amber

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References:

Tourist motivations DOI: 10.4018/978-1-5225-1054-3

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